“It’s only a bad day, not a bad life” is a mantra plastered all over Pinterest and Tumblr. Well, what if a bad day turns into several bad days? Maybe it’s been weeks and you still don’t feel quite like yourself. You’re constantly tired, anxious, or feeling stuck. While friends and family might try and comfort you by saying “Everyone has days like this” or “All twenty-somethings go through this”, they may be unintentionally delegitimizing your emotions. Sure, there is some comfort in knowing you aren’t alone, but that doesn’t mean you have to bite your tongue and surrender to it. There are ways you can take action and improve your outlook on life in the process.
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DO: Be honest. So often I find myself spewing out to loved ones that “Work was great!” and “Everything’s going really well, thanks!” without acknowledging, deep down, the exact opposite. Admitting how you feel, not only to yourself but to others, is in fact a very productive first step towards making positive changes. Also, knowing that people have your back can provide an instant boost as you seek solutions.
DO NOT: Apologize for feeling down. Hugo Rock hit the nail on the head when he claimed that apologizing for your negative emotions “tells your subconscious that you are not as good as other people and […] everyone else’s thoughts and feelings are more important than your own.” Instead of cultivating negativity, focus on making a plan on how you can move forward.
DO: Take a break. When I am at my most overwhelmed, changes in daily routine can make a world of a difference. Anxiety.org has identified social media has having a huge impact on individuals’ feelings of self-doubt, particularly through what they call the “Compare and Despair” method. All Facebook users will immediately recognize this behavior: you see someone’s sparkly engagement post or sunny vacation album and log off with a bad taste in your mouth. These hourly Facebook and Instagram newsfeed scrolls can build up and majorly contribute to fears of personal failure or, a common millennial anathema, the fear of missing out.
I’m not suggesting that you throw out your phone and become a monk, but maybe have a friend change your passwords for a few weeks. Take the energy you once used to roll your eyes about that Facebook friend getting another promotion and focus on self-care. Read up on mindfulness, a very useful tool for dispelling anxiety and pessimism. Lowering your stress levels and improving your focus will allow you to better block out negativity and think more positively.
DO NOT: Be afraid to seek help. As many as 1 in 5 adults in America are living with some form of mental illness, which adds up to over 40 million individuals. 60% of those people undergo no form of treatment, whether that be medication or therapy. No doubt this shocking figure can be attributed to the strong and stubborn social stigmas that surround mental health in our society. Psychologists such as Dr. Deborah Serani want people to know, “Mental illness is a combination of neurobiology and psychological influences, not a weakness in character.” Don’t let these taboos stop you from having the peace of mind you deserve.
