We have grown up with a standard we’ve set at a young age. We are going to go to school. We are going to get a job. We are going to pay our bills. We are going to eat. We are going to have a roof over our heads.
It’s ingrained in our head to do those things and meet them each month. It can get difficult at times (a client becomes slow to pay or decides to jump ship and go with someone else). We rely on the money in to survive. But, in a crunch we meet the standards we’ve set.
Maybe we eat beans for a week. But, we’re still getting fed. Beano, anyone?
RELATED: Writing Goals With Soul
But, why have we set the standard to the minimum? Don’t we have goals to live a better quality of life? Don’t we want to be able to take a break and enjoy some stillness from the everyday without worrying about affording it?
Definitely.
So, why not raise the standard? Why not pump ourselves up every day to go out and conquer the new standard? Make it a must. Make it what fuels us. Believe in ourselves so much that it just happens.
I was having a conversation with my business partner/hubby about this. How we have programmed our minds to set us up for failure from a young age. We have our doubts. We have our fears. How do we change that? How do we break that barrier of self-doubt, take charge of it and live a new standard – a better quality of life with less stress?
RELATED: Why Self-Doubt is Actually Necessary for Your Success
Step One:
Grab some tissues and be prepared to go through an emotional rollercoaster to figure out where your self-doubt is stemming; and, then chuck that booger in the trash.
Don’t doubt yourself. When you do, you’re putting limits on yourself and are setting yourself up for giving up and accepting that you can’t achieve a goal.
You don’t need to accept that one bit.
If you change the way you talk about a goal and make it a standard/a must, it’ll happen. You end up breaking the limit you have set; and, it becomes second nature.
To overcome it, first you need to figure out why you are doubting yourself. Did something happen at a young age that is in the back of your mind (now that small voice telling you can’t do something)? Once you figure this out, you can acknowledge it and begin to change it.
There’s some science behind it. It’s one part of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).
“Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a behavioral technology, which simply means that it is a set of guiding principles, attitudes, and techniques about real-life behavior, and not a removed, scientific theorem. It allows you to change, adopt or eliminate behaviors, as you desire, and gives you the ability to choose your mental, emotional, and physical states of well-being. With NLP, you learn how to grow from every single life experience, thus increasing your ability to create a better quality of life. NLP is a very pragmatic technology based on an ability to produce your desired results, thus allowing you to become proficient at creating your future!” – The Empowerment Project
Joel Brown, CEO and Founder of Addicted to Success, explains NLP, “Instead of finger-pointing blame to your problems and then prescribing a solution (usually a pill), NLP recognizes that there is input coming into your brain, recognizes your ability to change it, and then gives you a technique with which to do so.”
Watching this video of NLP Master and Motivational Speaker, Tony Robbins curing a man’s 30 year old stutter in 7 Minutes is eye-opening. Simply recognizing your issue and identifying where it stems from can lift a giant weight off your shoulders giving you the ability to change it and move forward.
Step Two:
Practice Positive Self-Talk Daily. Have a mantra (here’s how to find one) you live by every day. When you speak it out loud, it becomes reality.
Have you ever been called something negative so often that you started to believe it and became it? Step two is the same principle just with positive adjectives.
Activity: Pick a few adjectives that describe you (the you in the future that has already reached the new standard). Then, put them on sticky notes around the office. When you see the note, say it aloud, “I am _____!” Practicing this everyday will change how you view yourself and your worth.
It may seem cheesy; but, it’s a great practice to participate in daily. If you tell yourself you are something enough times, you will become that something.
I tell my son everyday how brave he is, that he can do anything he sets his mind on doing. And you know what? He has done some stunts, I’m afraid of doing, without blinking and hesitating.
So, whatever those negative adjectives you keep using to describe yourself, STOP IT. You are keeping yourself from achieving your full potential.
[Tweet “If you tell yourself you are something enough times, you will become that something. – @niftybetty”]Step Three:
Surround yourself with successful individuals. You become who you hang out with.
When you are part of a group of successful entrepreneurs, you adapt to their behaviors and apply them to your own life. The group becomes a mastermind group to share wins and losses. Having a group with that much experience is an awesome resource. You learn what to do and what not to do. You get to listen to different perspectives. You get to share your story. All of this helps build relationships, generate collaborations, and boost confidence in yourself and others in your group.
Don’t go all in by yourself. Have a tribe of people that can help you on down days to encourage you to move forward with your new standard. It’s the greatest thing to stay sane and stay on track. Our Gem Nation Facebook community is a wonderful place to start! 😉
Step Four:
Go out and Live it
You now have a set of new standards that you are going to live and breathe. You are unstoppable and are going to make them happen just like paying your bills and eating some food. No more beans for a week! It is a must. You have to do it. Know your purpose (your WHY you do the things you do) and the standards you have placed will become something you achieve daily.