I was lining up for my morning coffee when it happened. From the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of someone I recognized. No sooner was I able to turn around – that my memory neurons fired, resulting in a hot wave of embarrassment. There we stood, separately but only merely by two people, pretending not to notice each other. Suddenly, the two people between us dropped out of the long line, and now, we stood side by side in awkward silence. The only sounds of comfort were the whirring of the coffee grinders, the frothing of the milk, and the humming of the blenders.
How many times has this exact scenario happened to you, where you run into the one person you would rather avoid? No, I’m not referring to your chatty co-worker, who can be tolerable in small doses and you know has a kind heart. I’m talking about your past love. (Note: I commend people who are close friends with their exes – this is a rarity so congrats! This article is not meant for you, unless you’re interested in how the rest of the world lives 😉
It doesn’t have to be your ex specifically either but anyone referred to as a ‘blast from the past’. Every time you see these distinct people, it conjures up feelings of discomfort and mortification. Let me ask you this: it didn’t always feel like this, so why is this all you can remember?
I get it – you’re horrified for running out of the house not quite put together and polished. Unfortunately, that situation is purely on you. Sorry. If it makes you feel better, imagine my case where my 5 am telephone call for an out-of-time-zone meeting resulted in a slightly disheveled quasi mess with semi-dark eye circles from staying up too late to prepare, and no credit card in my wallet to pay for my coffee because I forgot to change my purse, while I was running late, of course! But I digress…
So here are my tips for what to do when you run unexpectedly into that person you would rather avoid:
1. Make contact and acknowledge. Yes, I said it. There is no sense ‘pretending’ that you need to tie your shoelace (you wore flats that don’t have laces, remember?) or that you had to check your latest social media feeds. A simple hello and ‘how are you?’ will do just fine. Brief and civil. General courtesies are the least you should muster.
2. Be honest. If a conversation happens to continue past with what you’re comfortable, be authentic and direct. Granted it’s hard to not embellish just a little, but consider that this person was a significant part of your life at some point. They know you. Be proud of what you’ve done since you’ve moved on and share it, whatever that may be.
3. Be happy. Why, you may ask? For a split second there, you travelled in time, just like in the movies. Sure, you weren’t caught in the best light nor at the most opportune occasion but seldom does life happen like that. Like the German idiom points out, you meet people twice in a life. So, here you are in that second instance that has inevitably happened. No matter what your past has been, find contentment that a once – familiar face has made you stronger.
Please note – none of these tips involve causing a scene. Tantrums are not graceful (at any age) and are generally a waste of energy. This chance encounter is a millisecond moment on your entire life span. Remember, a non-reaction is also a reaction. Sure you won’t have a crazy story to tell your friends – but at least you can proudly hold your head up high that you rose above.
About ‘The Love List’:
Have you ever had a list of characteristics or qualities you were looking for in a potential mate? The Love List: A guide to getting who you want is a concise dating and relationship guide that is relevant to all ages and genders – anyone looking for love! Reeling after the breakup from a 10-year relationship, Elena put pen to paper in this cathartic novella. In her witty and smart demeanor, Elena entices readers with practical tips and personal stories that encourage personal growth and understanding.
For more information on The Love List & Elena Murzello check out Elena’s website.
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