In this post: As a sufferer of depression, I realize that showing love and compassion is not always quite as easy as it sounds. Living in a city where you can experience all four seasons in one day, sometimes the little things matter most, like the beautiful Seeds of Love Bracelets I paired with my winter outfit.
The Look: Seeds of Love Bracelets // Bloom Jewelry Necklace // Aldo Boots (similar here) // Francesca’s Dress (similar here or here) // American Rag Sweater (similar here)
**This post may contain affiliate (which means I make a small commission when you shop from them) and sponsored links (gifted items are indicated with a [c/o] and sponsored links with a [sp]) because we all have to pay our bills, and I’d rather keep creating awesome content for you than get a real job. All opinions are my own.**
Pittsburgh is quite a unique city to live in. I think it’s one of the only places on the planet where you can experience all four seasons in one week. On Friday, the high was 61 degrees and the low for today (just two days later) is literally 1 degree. Thus, to be well equipped for the flaky temperatures, I’m always careful to leave a few pieces from my warm weather wardrobe in my closet during the winter months. Like this minty green number that you might recall from this spring look. For a more winter outfit here, I’ve paired it with camel suede boots (here’s a similar pair) and a cozy, thick knitted sweater (like this).
Aside from the happiness that sneaking a pretty pastel dress into a chill day look gave me, I’m delighted by these little Seeds of Love Bracelets. First seen in the “Jewelry to Gift That’s Made with a Purpose” post, Seeds of Love is dedicated to scattering some more love around the world. Each bracelet is hand-crafted in Guatemala. Through their social impact model, each element of the brand has been mindfully designed to provide support and sustainability to village artisans and others around the globe.
In that spirit, I wanted to get a little bit personal. I realize that if you’ve never dealt with depression, then what I’m about to say might make me seem like a terrible person. But, for my fellow depression warriors, do you agree that spreading and also receiving love becomes increasingly more difficult when depression kicks in? I’ve realized the effects closing myself off and disconnecting for too long have had on my life, and it’s something I’m actively working to change.
Sometimes, I’m filled with this burning light inside of me that I want to share with others. I can’t help but give out words of strength like business cards and I intentionally think about what I can write that will make someone else’s day or help them feel important and necessary. Other times, I go for weeks without spreading a single word of encouragement or reaching out to support friends that I know could use it (if you’ve ever emailed or messaged me during one of these periods, there’s a good chance I didn’t even respond).
I’m absolutely not encouraging these kinds of patterns, I’m just saying that this is what I have a tendency to do. When I’m feeling depressed, showing myself any kind of compassion or self-love becomes inaccessible, which makes it even more challenging to pass compassion or love onto others. It’s not because I don’t want to, it’s because I literally feel like I have nothing to give. And so, I get trapped in this mental space of feeling unuseful.
But that’s exactly what it is – a trap. When I do dig out a piece of my heart for someone else – even when I didn’t know it was there to give – I almost never regret it. In fact, the act of spreading love tends to make me feel more human again in times where I feel nonexistent. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy, time consuming, or energy depleting. As silly as they might seem, I’ve realized the smallest acts like responding to texts from friends within hours instead of days, exchanging supportive Instagram comments with someone, and even letting someone merge in front of me during rush hour traffic truly goes a long way in how connected I feel to the people around me (online and off).
We don’t have to feel like being kind to actually be kind, and we don’t have to feel like being compassionate to show compassion. Even in our darkest moments (like when we just want to lay into the customer service rep on the phone after already dealing with the completely incompetent automated voice system for 10 minutes before it would let us speak to a human), we can always, ALWAYS stop and think about whether or not we’re in a situation in which we can show more love. It’s true that some people do not deserve our kindness all of the time. However, I also think there’s a certain toll that not choosing compassion takes on us – we feel heavier, disconnected, and irritated. So, if not for someone else, spread love to grow and nurture your our heart.
… Also, donuts are always a good idea. =)
