My boyfriend, Shaun, and I have a pretty unique dynamic. He’s working his butt off to make it as a musician (and also helps me a ton with my business), and I’m over here doing the whole “whatever I gotta do to not have a real boss” thing. What I am most passionate about has always been stories, and it always seems like we’re constantly in the midst of a tale that could be made into a Netflix series someday. Our relationship doesn’t necessarily have a lot of drama – unless we’re trying to figure out how to re-arrange the living room – but life always does seem to be throwing a lot of turbulence at us that we imperfectly navigate together. So, we’re starting a new series here at The Gem where you’re going to get both sides – mine and his – of the story. Complete with life lessons, teachable moments, and “This Is Us” level reliability for you. We’re going to call it “He Said, She Said.” Hope you enjoy it!
This first story visits our recent adventure to Oms in the Outfield at PNC Park in Pittsburgh (where you do yoga on the field and then stay after for the baseball game – pretty cool, right?). Since Shaun isn’t exactly all about that #yogalife, I’m going to let him go first…
He Said…
Oms in the Outfield. More like, “Oh, what did I get myself into.”
You see, a certain someone in my life is always on my case to do more yoga. Okay, maybe to just do ANY yoga. The thing is, I have to be in a certain mindset to do it. I can’t exactly explain why, but that’s how I feel. I love doing physical activity and sweating, but I have a difficult time doing said things in a structured environment. Anyway, in the case of Oms in the Outfield, I agreed to practice yoga at PNC Park in Pittsburgh on Sunday, June 18th, 2017.
Father’s Day. Maybe that’s the reason I agreed. Probably not the entire reason, but certainly a major contributing factor. You see, Father’s Day is not a day to be celebrated by either Allyn or myself, both for our own unique reasons. My reason has to do with an alcoholic father with whom I don’t have a healthy relationship. So, the thought of doing just about anything other than celebrating on Father’s Day sounds appealing to me. Coupled with the fact that I also know how difficult this holiday (can we really call it that?) is for Allyn (and also that I knew this was something she really wanted to do), Oms in the Outfield (and a baseball game after) was the activity I agreed to do on Father’s Day 2017.
Don’t get me wrong, I thought it would be pretty cool to have the opportunity to walk onto the field at PNC Park and pretend I was there to play in a professional baseball game. I knew, however, that reality would quickly contort my body and ask me to enter Downward-Facing Dog. But it was my choice. I was the one who agreed to it, so I had to hold up my end of the deal.
Just like I imagined, I had little time to bask in my fictitious glory before it was time for yoga. However, when the instructors asked us to enter the first pose, Child’s Pose, something unexpected happened: I felt calm and relaxed. Everything I was dreading quickly faded away, and I was able to embrace just how cool this experience was. I had envisioned this particular yoga experience would feel like it lasted half a lifetime, but the truth is that it flew by and I actually wished I had a little more time to practice. Who am I?
Perhaps that’s a question you should also ask yourself. I have a tendency to get so set in my ways that I deprive myself of opportunities to experience new things. The biggest lesson I took away from this particular experience is that I need to keep more of an open mind when it comes to all aspects of life. I’m constantly in search of a higher quality of living, and I think this is a great place to start. Sometimes we can find joy in the most unexpected places, so let’s not limit our chances at happiness. Are you with me, Gems? Okay, cool. Now, let’s all start living a little more. : )
She Said…
You want to talk about unexpected? For the first time ever, I didn’t get a sarcastic response, eye roll, or “no” when I asked a certain someone to do a yoga-related thing with me. I thought maybe it was that he knows how hard Father’s Day is for me, or that since a baseball game was promised after, it didn’t seem so bad.
He didn’t even ask if not going was an option on the table when we got back from his band’s show at 1:30 in the morning (we had to be at PNC Park by 7:30 am).
I had really, really wanted to go to Oms in the Outfield for the past couple years, but I always had something else going on that day. And like Shaun said, Father’s Day isn’t exactly my favorite day. I lost my dad to suicide and it still hurts a ton, even though it’s been 8 years. So, when we were given the opportunity to go with Yoga Innovations (come take my class if you’re in Pittsburgh!), it seemed like a great way to keep me distracted and bring some joy into a normally rough day.
I almost didn’t ask him about going, because I thought I already knew what the answer was going to be. But, I’m so glad I did. It was everything I needed it to be – an unwinding practice, a necessary distraction, and something for us to do together that was an alternative to our usual Netflix and chilling (not as in the euphemism, but as in actual Netflixing). There was something spectacularly special about getting to do something I love in a cool place like PNC and getting to share that with him.
I thought he said yes just for me, so hearing he had his own reasons for actually wanting to go when I read the first part of this post threw me off a bit, I’m not going to lie.
This however, isn’t the first time I’ve asked a question with hesitation, anticipating a “no”. Not just with Shaun, but with everyone. I even find myself withholding questions I have because I’m convinced I already know the answer. Let’s take selling for example. When I’m pitching blog features or my programs, I’ll sometimes convince myself that this brand can’t afford what I’m charging, so I need to give a discount or just not reach out at all. *Note: this has nothing to do with me actually judging the financial standing of the brand, but rather making excuses for myself.
But this post is proof that no matter how many times you’ve heard the answer “no” (because believe me, I could buy myself the new MacBook I’ve been dreaming of if I had a dollar for every time Shaun answered my requests to come to yoga with a set in stone “no”), you never know when you’re going to get a “yes” the next time you ask.
The real lesson here is: if you want to get your man to go to yoga, just add sports!
Just kidding. The actual real lesson here is, like this experience reminded Shaun to be more open-minded about all aspects of life, it reminded me I need to be more open-minded when it comes to how other people will respond to me. Don’t make decisions in your head for other people. Whether it’s a potential customer, your significant other, your best friend, your mom, or your business partner, know that it’s their responsibility to say “no”. Also know that “no” doesn’t reflect you, your abilities, or your value – it’s simply a reflection of their current situation and needs. Let the “nos” bounce right off of you and get back to the act of asking so that you can get closer to the “yeses” you’re looking for!
Heck, maybe I’ll even try asking him to put his dirty dishes in the dishwasher next ;)…
(… although I am half to blame for that because it takes me like 5 days to unload the clean dishes. But, it can’t hurt to ask, right?)
Finally, let this be proof that on this Wednesday, June 21st of the year 2017, Shaun Novak admitted that yoga is not the worst thing in the world.
Can you relate? What’s something that you need to be more open minded about? Share it with us below!
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