The Look
The Audrey Petite Carryall in White & Ruby from KYLA JOY ($548 – Save 15% with code ALLYN) // Gold Open Bangle from Drew & Co. ($45.85) // Similar Polka Dot Dress from Ralph Lauren ($104) // Similar Pearl Necklace from Carolee Jewelry ($55) // Bryant Park Stud Pierced Earrings from Carolee Jewelry ($45)
The Lesson
Not too long ago, I thought everything I wanted was on the other side of freedom.
If I only had more time, I could make more money and feel released of this stress.
If I just get this one more thing done I can be done for the day (and then 7 more one more things later it’s 11:30 at night).
If I spend this night in catching up on emails, I’ll be free later in the week (it doesn’t work like that, the emails never stop).
I wanted to be my own boss because I wanted to be in control. I wanted the freedom to live life on my own terms. But, like I suppose most entrepreneurs do at some point, I realized that there’s a hell of a lot of things to carry when you go down this road. A lot of things you become responsible for. A lot of things that are in your, and only your hands.
Somehow, somewhere along the way, I lost the freedom entirely. My business controlled me from when I starting working (which was always) to when I stopped working (which was never). It dictated when I went out with friends, which I ended up losing most of from neglecting relationships. It decided so much for me and at that point, was this really any better than having a boss?
And then in one of those bottom swings, where I felt like I just couldn’t keep going (from a spell of no time, no money, no energy syndrome – If this is you, here’s how to keep going when you just can’t keep going), I realized the thing I needed the most was the thing I kept running away from…
structure.
Ugh, I can’t even swallow that word. I don’t want structure, I want freedom.
But the only way I’m going to get that is through structure.
You see, we only have two hands. Think of everything you need to take with you when you leave the house on a typical day – examples: coffee, phone, laptop, notebook, planner, change of clothes, lunch, keys, lipstick, yoga mat, cash, credit cards, business cards, chargers for things, snacks, pens… you get it. Now, imagine you have no purses, no wallet, no bags – not even a flimsy grocery store plastic one – to carry all your stuff in.
How many trips would it take to get to the car?
4? 20? 50?
No matter what the number is, it’s a lot of trips. A lot of work. A lot of energy. A lot of effort.
Under utilized effort and energy that can certainly be going to better places (unless you’re trying to use this as your work out for the day).
We don’t do this because we have… you guessed it… structure. We have purses and laptop bags and totes (like this) and reusable shopping bags and clutches (like this – jewel tones FTW!) and wallets (like this) and backpacks (like this) and all of these tools, all of these structures to put our life things into.
Because you only have two hands.
There is only so much you can carry in your palms directly.
How much life will you miss out on, how many things are you unable to participate in, if your hands are always full of stuff?
KYLA JOY is a luxurious lifestyle handbag brand founded on not simply the importance of structure, but the beauty entangled within it as well. Every stitch is infused with intention and every detail, from the quality of material used to the elegant use of hardware is arranged with meaning. Carrying a handbag from KYLA JOY, which I was delighted to experience during New York Fashion Week, is a reminder to live the life you love and that no matter what life throws at you, you radiate beauty both inside and out!
Joe Citizen, KYLA JOY’s Founder & Chief Experience Officer, had a lot to carry growing up in West Long Beach, CA, an area often associated with gangs and violence. But he didn’t become a victim. It was watching his father mentoring “at risk” children and filling their eyes with opportunity that Joe’s own foundation of compassion for diversity and the power of a positive perspective was laid. Structure comes in all forms and it’s strongest when set with integrity, which determines how we carry our stories. So how do you carry yours?
Whether it’s standing firm in a moral principle, creating a morning routine, developing more efficient systems in your business, working on delegation, or simply setting boundaries, I hope you walk away from this post with a heightened awareness of the structures supporting you (or maybe lack thereof). And I hope you take the time to create, strengthen, and reinforce them.
It’s only with the structure that we can carry more, because it gives us the security to extend further outside of our comfort zone. We can then increase our load without dropping the balls. We can experience the freedom and set the bags down for a few moments to experience life. You might just find that you don’t even need to set anything down. That you can keep the bags on and live just as fully, especially if you’re carrying one just as beautiful as this Audrey Petite Carryall ($548) from KYLA JOY. The Fall/Winter 2016 collection also includes a stunning Convertible Backpack and Saddle Bag (pictured below) that will take your breath away.
When you give structure integrity and detail, you can truly live the life you love because you have a sturdy foundation to go back to. This is the heart of resilience because you can build from the ground up instead of having to go back and dig out the basement (while chaotically trying to redevelop the floor plan).
When you feel like you’re breaking, when you want to drop everything and let it fall to the floor, ask yourself instead, “what structure is missing that I can put this on?”
Save 15% at KYLA JOY with code ALLYN
**This post may contain affiliate links and sponsored content because we all have to pay our bills and I’d rather keep creating awesome content for you than get a real job. All opinions are my own.**
Photos: Alexandra Barone // Makeup: Casey Muller